Johnny and The Corncob
by Snoopz00
Summary: This is a parody of Secret Window... Lol... The corn... Ha ha... Um... Anyways. This is the story of Johnny and the Corncob and there kinky adventures together! Written by Kris and me! This has some love scenes between and Johnny and his corncob, and some


Johnny and The Corncob

By: Kristen AND Kelsey

Chapter One 

**Johnny and The Corncob**

All was quiet, except for the gentle pitter-patter of rain against the window. Johnny sat at the bar, in his long, maroon robes, sipping a glass of beer. And as he glanced down the table, he noticed something, a corncob, barely ten feet away, eying him suggestively. He flashed a smile and slid down to the seat next to her.

"And what is a fine corncob like you doing at a bar such as this?"

She was silent.

"Oh, I see, playing hard to get are we? Well I will just have to play harder," Johnny put his arm around the corncob and flashed another amazing smile.

The corncob still made no reply, but her gaze seemed to show her intentions.

"Let us go, beautiful corncob, and make love into the night," He swept her into his arms and danced to the stairs, his robe fluttering behind him.

"Why do I have a bar in my house you ask? Well, because I'm filthy rich!" Johnny laughed and though he heard a chuckle escape the corncob too.

"Well, I don't believe I caught your name, miss."

Again, the corncob was silent.

"Oh, that's all right, my love, names are just tags we put on people. Now let us go,"

Soon they reached the bedroom, all covered with wool and plaid. Johnny threw the fragile corncob onto the bed, shrugged off his robe to reveal flannel pajamas, and started to crawl towards her.

"Oh, I forgot one thing," he raced out the door but was back in an instant. He lifted one eyebrow and snickered mischievously. He held in his hand the one thing that could make his lovin' to the corncob better. Butter. He took her in his hands and then placed her on the butter, smothering it on, covering ever kernel.

"You look so tasty my love."

She said nothing once again, but Johnny thought he could see the start of a smile.

The corncob remained lying helplessly on the rose-covered bed. As Johnny inched closer and closer, he suddenly stopped, dashing up from the bed and running to a corner of the room. He grinned crazily back toward the corncob a moment more, then turned away. The next moment, a very intriguing song filled the atmosphere. Johnny began singing along to the words, dancing around the room back towards the bed, muttering "Leeet's get it ooooooooon" under his breath.

In a moment's time, Johnny was back on the bed, crawling toward the corncob like a lion, looking as if he were ready to pounce.

"My lovely little poot; what was that I hear you say?" Johnny asked softly as he eyed the corncob lustfully. For what seemed the millionth time in a row, the corncob remained wordless. In fact, the corncob made no movement, no remote sign of interest in Johnny, nor any noise. Johnny didn't seem to notice though.

Johnny was close enough to touch his dear corncob now; he put one thin, soft finger on a very slippery kernel and poked it softly. Johnny was sure he heard a giggle of pleasure from the corncob. He continued poking, giggling at his own intentions, the sly old dog. After Johnny felt he had satisfied the corncob, he lowered his head and licked it just once.

"Do you like that, my dear?! Do you?!" Johnny said sexily. The corncob obviously made no efforts to show Johnny it did not like that, or any effort to indicate it even alive. Johnny still licked on.

Johnny began to fear his divine little corncob was growing bored with the warmth of his tongue. So, Johnny grew curious as to what "got her going".

"What do you like, my lovely one?" Johnny asked, as he playfully nipped one of her kernels. Johnny SWORE he heard the corncob murmur, "What do you mean", though, as we all already know, his significant other is not fond of speaking.

"What was that?" Johnny questioned, more anxious than ever. As he searched his love for her answer, he again took a little nip of a kernel. He could have sworn he heard the corncob let out a shriek of giggling pleasure, so he continued on nipping.

Johnny, certain of her intentions, felt the corncob fidget beneath him. Johnny smiled to himself, thinking what an amazing night she must be having.

"What do you say," Johnny started, as he slowly but abruptly undid one of his shirt buttons. He stopped for a moment, to keep the corncob on the edge and waiting, and to say his next words. "Sweetie," he continued, snapping another button off, "that we," Johnny went on, "take some of these hot PJs off!" Johnny emphasized the word hot with a slight whisper and flirtatious smile, and finally ripped the flannel nightshirt away. Johnny was pleased to see the corncob return that flirtatious smile

Johnny thought the corncob seemed hesitant, so he paused for a bit, deciding the slow things down.

"Perhaps you like it a bit slower," Johnny said aloud, half concluding the corncob's ways to himself, half asking the corncob the question.

As Johnny sat back up, straddling the corncob, waiting for her, and tapping his chest, the thought suddenly dawned on him. He looked at the poor little corncob in a whole new light. Johnny then questioned her emotionally, caringly, and softy, "Is this your first time?" Johnny heard a soft moan of "yes" from the corncob, though the corncob was totally silent.

"My dear, I am a professional, you have nothing to worry about! So just enjoy the show," He smiled, took a remote control out of his pocket and pressed a button. Immediately a disco ball and pole came out of the ceiling. He stepped towards it but glanced back to see his darling's reaction. Then suddenly he was dancing around, swiveling on the pole. Buttons, clothing, and money were flying everywhere.

When Johnny thought his corncob was satisfied with his performance, he pressed the button again and flew down to the bed.

"Now let us make love to one another. I am just a humble man, as you can see, searching for his beloved, which I have found... in you, my dear corncob. So let us affirm our love to one another and make sweet romance till morning."

Once again the corncob said nothing, but he could tell she was smiling and nodding him on.

And into the daylight hours, Johnny made love to his sweet corncob. And that, my friends, is the beginning of Johnny's romance with his beloved corncob. Little do we know, the two will face so much more together, as you will see in the upcoming chapters...betrayal, love, and loss. And so the kinky love adventure between man and corncob begins!


End file.
